


Beautiful Necromancy

by soxos



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Insecurity, Jealousy, M/M, Mental Instability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 19:43:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17855771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soxos/pseuds/soxos
Summary: Hinata and Komaeda are in a happy relationship, but old loves die hard - and some don't die at all.





	Beautiful Necromancy

**Author's Note:**

> *casually ignores DR3*
> 
> I didn't mean for this to be so long, but it is what it is. It ended up being a weird mixture of angst and fluff, so please be mindful of that... 
> 
> I just want them to be happy, damn it.

He woke up in an empty bed.

 

Usually he was the one to wake up first, almost to a fault. Hinata called him _an annoying morning bird_ , to which he replied that he didn't mind as long as he gets to cook breakfast for him, getting up early only to spoil his boyfriend. Hinata also often teased him about that, calling him a housewife. Komaeda's heart would flutter at that, blushing instead of laughing like he was supposed to.

 

At least he thought he was supposed to laugh.

 

He wasn't a housewife by any means, but his imagination would always run wild – imagining a domestic life for him and Hinata. He really wouldn't mind cooking for him for the rest of his life, even though his culinary skills were mediocre at best. Actually, they were downright awful at first - but after getting some lessons from Hanamura, he was finally able to cook something actually edible.

 

Except the bed was empty today. Hinata must have woken up earlier than usual. Komaeda stared at the empty spot next to him, running his fingers along the crinkles on the bed sheets.

 

He sighed. The sun wasn't up yet, so he knew he didn't oversleep. Hinata went to bed earlier than him yesterday, that was probably the reason.

 

He really shouldn't beat himself up over something like this.

 

He sighed once more and finally got up. He tried to resist a yawn but ultimately failed. The room was drowned in grey light, making everything seem strangely melancholic, and Komaeda felt strange sadness overtake him.

 

Some mornings were harder than others.

 

He rubbed his eyes as he stumbled into the bathroom, thoroughly brushing his teeth and staring at the mirror reflection, noticing that the dark circles under his eyes reemerged.

 

He sniffled as he spat out the toothpaste. Today didn't start out good by any means.

 

As he made his way downstairs, he heard someone talking in a low voice.

 

 _Visitors? We have visitors?_ Komaeda's eyes widened, panicking slightly. He wasn't prepared for any guests today, otherwise he would make sure to clean the house at least twice as thoroughly. He'd get up sooner too, making himself more presentable – but this... he couldn't have predicted something like this.

 

He practically ran down the stairs, finally reaching the hallway – only to stop in his tracks.

 

He could hear three voices – one belonged to Hinata, but the two other voices...

 

„I'm advising you to calm down. It wasn't our intention to upset you. Let's talk about this like reasonable adults.“

 

„Please, just listen to us. We didn't mean any harm.“

 

„How can you – I, ah, I'm... How could you do this without letting me know first? _How could you?_ “ _Kirigiri-san? Naegi-kun?_ He could recognize their voices in his sleep, that's how much he admired them. But what were they doing here? Why was Hinata so upset? What was going on?

 

He though about rushing in, apologizing for Hinata's blunt behavior, offering those two a cup of tea and coffee and overall being a _good housewife_ – but he decided to listen for now, curious about their conversation. He knew it was eavesdropping – technically – but he couldn't help himself. He tiptoed towards the entrance to the kitchen, grateful for the fact that the door was open. He could hear the conversation loud and clear.

 

„There were some... demands,“ Kirigiri's voice echoed, „from some of your classmates. We had no idea they never informed you. We were of the impression that you collectively agreed.“

 

„But you never thought to ask me?“

 

„With all due respect – it's not your decision to make.“

 

 _Thump._ A loud noise, as if someone slammed their fist on the table.

 

„Whose decision is it then? I don't understand! How could you just... resurrect her like that? How is that even possible? How could you do that to me, fully knowing what she meant to me? Knowing that I finally managed to move on?“

 

Komeada's heart was speeding up. He had no idea what was going on, but... he could _guess_. He could guess and he didn't like where this was going at all.

 

He bit his lip and closed his eyes. _Maybe it's not real. Maybe this is a dream. Maybe I'm wrong about this._

 

„You don't need to visit her!“ That was Naegi's voice. „It's not mandatory! We didn't think you would react like this, but... if you don't want to meet her, you can just ignore the whole thing! I understand it's upsetting, but please, look at the bright side. We managed to salvage all the data. She was never dead to begin with!“

 

„That is right. You don't need to do anything for now. And when you're ready, just let us know – we'll put you in the program – temporarily, of course – and you two can talk. If you ever want to talk outside of the program, there's option for that too. You can talk to her on the phone or the computer.“

 

„I...,“ Hinata was breathing heavily, his voice audibly shaking, „I do want to talk to her... I do want to see her again...“

 

„We thought you would! That's why we rushed over to tell you about this. We didn't mean to upset you.“

 

„I... I know... I just...“ Komaeda could hear a wheezing sound, as if Hinata was in a state of panic. „You know how much she meant to me...“

 

„That's exactly why we salvaged her data.“

 

„Did someone put you up to this?“ Hinata's voice was in distress again. „Was it Soda? Saionji? Were they hoping to get me and Nanami together? I know they dislike Komaeda and that they never liked our relationship. I know they would prefer me to be with Nanami. Is that why you did this?“

 

„No!“ Naegi exclaimed, „we would never... She's still an AI, so...“

 

„How the fuck am I gonna tell Komaeda?“

 

„We can inform him, if you want,“ Kirigiri said, „if it'll make things easier.“

 

Komaeda took a deep breath. He was shaking, suddenly feeling sick.

 

He thought about this before. He _talked_ about this with Hinata before. It was a constant thought nagging at his mind, constant jealousy, something that he never thought he would need to face, but here he was.

 

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.

 

He walked through the kitchen door.

 

„There's no need.“

 

Kirigiri, Naegi and Hinata all turned their heads, looking at him with different expressions. They all fell silent.

 

„I've heard it all, and it's fine, really,“ he tried to flash them a smile, but it probably looked like an ugly grimace. „So, Hinata-kun, you don't need to worry about me...“

 

His voice was wavering. It was pathetic. He couldn't even keep his voice calm, couldn't give his audience an illusion of stability. He blinked, trying to make his eyes burn less. He leaned against the door's frame, trying to seem nonchalant. He didn't want to have a breakdown in front of _Kirigiri and Naegi_ of all people. He didn't want them to see how broken he was.

 

„I didn't know you would stop by today,“ he swallowed, trying to calm himself down. „Do you want some coffee? Or juice at least? I'm being a terrible host, I-I'm sorry...“

 

His voice broke down at the end of the sentence. He made an undignified noise and buried his face in the sleeve of his sweater.

 

„That's fine, we were just leaving,“ he could hear Kirigiri's voice. She sounded uncomfortable, but she clearly got the message. „If there's anything you need, just call me. Let's go, Makoto.“

 

„Uh, but...“

 

„Let's go.“

 

Her assertive tone of voice left Naegi no option but to obey. Komaeda rubbed at his eyes, looking at them through the gap inbetween his fingers. He saw Naegi smiling at him apologetically. Kirigiri avoided his gaze completely.

 

They both gathered their things and left as quickly as they appeared, Hinata walking them to the door and saying goodbye for the both of them. He heard their muffled voices, but the words didn't reach his ears.

 

He sat down on one of the dinner table chairs, burying his face in his hands again.

 

Eventually, he heard Hinata's footsteps. He didn't bother to look up.

 

An uncomfortable silence loomed inbetween them. Komaeda pulled at the strands of his hair, trying to distract himself from the reality of it all.

 

„How much did you hear?“ Hinata eventually broke the silence, his voice quiet and hoarse.

 

„Enough to get a gist of it.“

 

„Komaeda...“

 

„It's fine,“ he managed to get his voice under control just so it was no longer shaking. „I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me.“

 

Hinata sat down on the chair next to him. „I'm sorry,“ he said eventually, almost whispering. Just the sound of it almost broke his heart.

 

„No, no, I'm...“ he swallowed, biting his lip almost to the point of bleeding. „Please don't be sorry. I'm really happy. You should be happy too, I mean... they managed to restore her, right? You'll get to see her again!“ He smiled as widely as possible, his cheeks almost hurting. A smile always made everything better.

 

He felt a hand on his shoulder. A gentle, reassuring touch, calming his nerves and making him feel calm again.

 

„If I decide to see her, you're coming with me. I'm gonna explain everything. I'm gonna tell her about us, about what happened. I'm gonna tell her everything. You don't need to worry, I will never, ever abandon you.“ He felt Hinata's nails digging into his shoulder. „She's still an AI, it's not like they revived her real self.“

 

„How did they manage that? I thought she was... gone?“

 

„They had a backup, apparently. I mean, I guess that makes sense... They backed up everything, even the program itself. That's why it's all up and running. They also kept it updated, so... Nanami has all her memories of us...“

 

„She remembers everything?“

 

„That's what they told me,“ Hinata shrugged. „I'm not sure if it's true.“

 

„If it is, there's no way I can ever face her.“

 

Hinata sighed. „Nonsense. If I'm gonna meet her, you're going with me too. She'll understand.“

 

Komaeda felt truly hopeless at that moment. He felt the need to bury his nails into the wood of the table, misdirecting his frustration at an inanimate object – but he withstood the urge, gritting his teeth instead, knowing how dangerous it was to inflict pain on himself in any way. It was addictive, it was always addictive.

 

„You don't need to do that... I-I understand... you're only with me because she's dead, I can't compare... now she's here again and... I can't... Hinata-kun...“

 

„Okay, that's enough of that,“ Hinata's voice was stern again, just like a few minutes ago, when he was yelling at Kirigiri and Naegi. „Let's go back to bed, alright? You need to calm down.“

 

„O-Okay,“ Komaeda nodded meekly, slowly getting up. He _knew_ he was panicking, he knew he was acting irrationally, but he just needed to breathe and hear Hinata's voice and feel him close, and it would be okay. That's how they usually solved things, with Hinata stroking his hair and speaking to him in a low voice, holding him against his chest and kissing his forehead, making Komaeda's panic attack subdue.

 

The though of losing him was too difficult.

 

He managed to climb the stairs, almost in a dream like state. Everything felt so small and far away. He could feel Hinata holding his hand, the only warm gesture he ever really experienced.

 

He fell down on the bed fully clothed, not really caring.

 

Hinata laid down next to him. Komaeda didn't waste any time hugging his boyfriend, latching onto him and burying his head into his chest.

 

„Shhh, it's alright,“ Hinata consoled him and gently stroked his hair, just like he always did. Komaeda felt himself calming down, slowly, still slightly shaking, still blinking his tears away, but at least his heart stopped racing. „I'm not going anywhere.“

 

„Hinata-kun, I love you,“ he whimpered into Hinata's shirt, his voice muffled. Hinata hugged him closer and placed a gentle kiss on the top of his head.

 

„I love you too.“

 

* * *

 

After a few hours of cuddling and drifting to sleep, Komaeda finally felt somewhat at ease. It took time to process the information, but he stopped freaking out and started being curious instead.

 

„How exactly did they manage to salvage her?“ He sat up on the bed, tilting his head.

 

Hinata looked at him with stern expression. „I don't know,“ he admitted, „apparently they implanted her with memories from the program or something. I don't really get it myself.“

 

„Interesting! I'd expect nothing less from the Future Foundation. Of course they backed up their data regularly.“

 

Hinata just hummed, sitting up as well. He had a pillow imprint on his cheek. Komaeda couldn't help but smile at the sight.

 

„I can go inside the program whenever I'm ready, apparently,“ Hinata continued, „and I can also talk to her on the computer or on my phone.“

 

„Yeah, I heard that part.“

 

„It's nothing to worry about. You can talk to her too, if you want. Anyone from our former class can do that.“

 

Komaeda sighed. „If you really want to, then... we can go right now. I do want to see her too.“

 

Hinata looked at him, his expression unreadable. „I think we should wait until tomorrow. We might both change our minds.“

 

 _I doubt that._ „Okay,“ Komaeda mumbled, reluctant. „I better go and make some lunch. We wasted enough time already.“

 

Hinata gave him a small smile. „Want me to help you?“

 

„If you're offering,“ Komaeda smiled back, feeling as if he could breathe again. _That's right. I can still enjoy today. No matter what happens, I still have today._

 

* * *

 

„Okay, we're ready.“

 

„You're both going?“

 

„Of course.“

 

They were standing in a huge, dark room, surrounded by cables and sleeping pods. Dim, green light was surrounding them, casting shadows over their faces. It was only them and Naegi – Kirigiri was apparently busy, and there was no need for supervision.

 

„Is that a problem?“ Komaeda asked, biting his lip. He never considered that it might be harder to connect two people.

 

„No, of course not!“ Naegi assured him. „I was just surprised, that's all. There won't be any problems, it's completely safe! Actually, some of your friends already visited her, so you don't even need to worry about explaining anything.“

 

Komaeda briefly considered asking who was it, but he kept his mouth shut. He could probably guess, anyway.

 

„Okay, just lie down in the pods,“ Naegi instructed. Komaeda looked at Hinata and nodded, grabbing the edge of the pod closest to him, gripping it so tightly his knuckles turned white. He was definitely nervous. This whole thing made him slightly uncomfortable. _Maybe I should let Hinata go alone after all...?_

 

„Do as he says, Komaeda,“ Hinata was already half laying down, clearly sensing his distress. He really learned how to read him thorough the years.

 

Komaeda sighed and scrambled into the pod as well. It felt familiar, the soft cushion below him, the green light, the glass above him... He hoped nothing would go wrong this time.

 

„Alright,“ Naegi said, „I'll connect you and you'll be sent straight into the program. We could only reconstruct the first island for now, Nanami usually hangs around the hotel lobby, you will need to find her on your own, though. Whenever you're ready to leave, just call for me, okay?” He took a deep breath and sat down in front of the monitor. „Are you ready?“

 

„Yes,“ him and Hinata said in unison.

 

„Okay, close the pods,“ Naegi grinned nervously, looking at the big screen in front of him. He seemed ready to upload their consciousness into the virtual program – just like that.

 

Komaeda reached up and closed the lid. He was entirely isolated now. Entirely alone.

 

He closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable.

 

* * *

 

_Uploading data... Uploading data... Uploading data..._

 

_Upload successful._

 

* * *

 

He felt sun on his skin and sand beneath his palm. Everything was suddenly bright. He opened his eyes, blinking a few times – the sun was as merciless as always.

 

Hinata was next to him, laying down in the sand. It seemed they both ended up on the beach.

 

 _How nostalgic,_ Komaeda thought. He couldn't help but remember the first time he met Hinata here. It was so fateful – them meeting like that, exploring the island together...

 

It made Komaeda wonder on how things would end if the program worked as expected. Maybe they would end up being friends right off the bat after all.

 

„Are you okay?“ He asked.

 

Hinata nodded. „I think so... It's really weird to be back, though.“

 

It truly was. Komaeda never thought he would return to this place. The nostalgia of it all almost made him want to cry and scream and have a meltdown, but he took a deep breath and managed to control himself. The old version of him probably wouldn't have been able to do that.

 

He managed to stand up, the scenery spinning around him. It was all so crazy. It truly was a perfect recreation, everything looked the same, except...

 

„Hinata-kun,“ he whispered, „I think she's already here.“

 

„Huh?“ Hinata managed to stand up as well. „Ah...“

 

Nanami was sitting down just a few meters away from them, her socks and shoes taken off as she let her feet be caressed by the waves. She had her DS in her hands, completely focused on her game.

 

Komaeda felt a strange touch on his forearm. He looked down and saw Hinata grabbing his hand, tightly, as if he never wanted to let him go. „Okay. Let's go talk to her.“

 

„Hinata-kun...“

 

„I know what you want to say. Don't say it. Let's just go.“

 

Hinata started walking, dragging Komaeda along with him. He had to force himself to stay quiet, otherwise he would have to protest against all of this – this entire situation. It didn't feel right, they were finally going to be reunited – and he was here to ruin it all, to be a nuisance.

 

It hurt. It hurt so, so much.

 

„Nanami...“ Hinata's lips were barely moving, his voice low and raspy all of a sudden.

 

Nanami slowly turned her head.

 

She looked exactly the same. Gentle eyes, soft expression, open mouth.

 

„Hinata-kun? Komaeda-kun?“

 

It's been so long....

 

Komaeda resisted the urge to scream and gave her a shaky smile instead. Not that she noticed it – she seemed to be engulfed with Hinata. He couldn't blame her.

 

„Nanami, I...“

 

„You don't need to say anything. I know.“ She finally got up. Her legs were entirely covered in wet sand. It was a bit funny – Komaeda wasn't used to seeing her like this.

 

„Nanami, I... missed you so much.“

 

He gathered the courage to look at Hinata's face. It was full of love, his eyes almost burning – he was looking at her with such passion – and it hurt so badly – not to mention the old Hinata would never say something like this, he would never lay his feeling bare like that – never, _ever_ -

 

Nanami gave the both of them a gentle smile. „I missed you too. Both of you.“

 

Komaeda felt sick and euphoric at once, if that was even possible. The amount of emotions he experienced in the past hour was uncountable. „Do you really mean that?“ He managed to choke out, trying to focus on his breathing just so he would calm his emotions down. Breathing in the salty air was strangely comforting.

 

„Nanami-san...“ his voice was barely audible, „I'm so sorry...“

 

„Sorry for what? There's nothing to be sorry for.“

 

„You died because of me, and now... I'm...“ His voice broke. He let go of Hinata's hand, as if he was stung – it was too painful to keep holding on.

 

Nanami simply stared at him. „Let's all go sit under the palm tree. The sun is too bright. We can talk some more under the shade.“

 

Komaeda could barely hear her, but he saw Hinata nodding. He followed the two of them almost blindly – everything around him was so real and yet he felt like in a dream. Maybe the sun really was too bright.

 

They all sat down below the palm tree, sheltered by the its shadow. Komaeda felt like he could breathe again.

 

„There's no need to say anything. I already know about you two.“ Nanami announced once they settled down, her expression as calm as ever. She didn't seem to be hurt or even confused – just accepting.

 

Komaeda and Hinata shared a look.

 

„Who told you?“ Hinata finally asked after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence.

 

„That doesn't matter,“ Nanami said, „I really don't want you guys to fight.“

 

„I guess that's fair.“

 

„Are you... really okay with this?“ Komaeda interrupted. It was hard to keep his mouth shut sometimes. Nanami looked at him, still smiling – but there was something else in her expression, something that betrayed her _longing_ -

 

„Of course. I'm really happy for you guys. Don't let me come inbetween you – I'm not even real, after all.“

 

„That's wrong!“ Hinata suddenly yelled out, burying his fingers into the sand. „You're as real as anyone here.“

 

„Hinata-kun...“

 

Komaeda took a deep breath. He didn't want Nanami to finish her thought. „He's right,“ he was quick to agree with Hinata, „you're as real as any of us. You have your memories, your consciousness... you're real...“

 

„I'm just a computer code,“ Nanami raised a finger to her lips in thought, not looking offended at all, „it's fine.“

 

„It's not fine.“ Komaeda chimed in, slightly surprised at himself – he didn't want to argue, he just... „You can feel pain just like us, and you breathe just like us. If you're just a computer code, then so are we. Humans are just code too, you know?“

 

„Okay, no need to get philosophical,“ Hinata interrupted him. Komaeda could see the corner of his mouth twitching. „But he's right.“

 

„I understand,“ Nanami nodded.

 

_Never once losing her composure. She really is perfect._

 

He heard a sharp intake of breath next to him. „That's why this is so hard,“ Hinata said. His voice was wavering. „That's why this is so damn difficult.“

 

 _Here it comes._ „If you need to break this off, I'll understand.“

 

He closed his eyes shut as soon as the words left his mouth. He didn't want to see Hinata or Nanami looking at him. It would be too much to bear.

 

For a few seconds, all he could hear were the sea waves and the birds chirping above them. It was peaceful. He wished for the time to stop, so he would never have to hear Hinata's response – so he would always be stuck in this moment, in this ideal world.

 

„I love you both.“

 

Komaeda opened his eyes. _What?_

 

„I love you both,“ Hinata repeated, louder this time. „I can't let either one of you go. Now that we're all here – I can't -“

 

„Hinata-kun-“

 

„Hinata-kun...“

 

Komaeda and Nanami spoke in unison, their soft voices overlapping. It hurt more than anything, to see Hinata conflicted like this – but his words also carried much needed comfort and warmth.

 

„I'm glad to see you again, Nanami – but things are so complicated now -“

 

„They're not complicated at all,“ Nanami interrupted, „you can come and see me anytime. And I don't get lonely, if that's you're worried about. Naegi-kun and the others talk to me often. I'm... really glad to be back.“

 

The warmth in her eyes was not directed at him at all, but it was still enough to make him melt.

 

„What do you mean?“ Hinata's voice was getting louder and shakier by the minute. „You mean I should just visit you? After I told you that... that I love you? Do you know how hard it is?“

 

„You're the one making this complicated, Hinata-kun,“ Nanami smiled – and then she leaned over and kissed Hinata on the cheek.

 

For a split second, all he could see were her lips brushing against Hinata's cheek – but then he managed to tear his eyes away, seeing Nanami looking at him – almost as if she expected him to -

 

Oh.

 

He leaned over and kissed Hinata's other cheek.

 

It was abrupt, almost impulsive – but he did it. He did what Nanami wanted him to do. He did what he wanted to do.

 

_It really isn't that complicated, after all. It doesn't have to be._

 

Hinata's face seemed to be almost on fire. „I... uh...“

 

„You don't need to say anything,“ Nanami said, putting a lock of her hair behind her ear, „just lay down.“

 

„Huh?“

 

„Lay down.“

 

„Uh... okay...“

 

Hinata hesitantly laid down into the sand, making sure the palm tree shade covered his face.

 

Nanami laid down right next to him.

 

„You too, Komaeda-kun,“ she mumbled, already snuggling close to Hinata, hugging his arm and laying her head on his shoulder. _I suppose you're going to get touchy feely when you're left completely alone on an island,_ Komaeda thought, laying down next to Hinata just as Nanami instructed. Hinata was efficiently trapped inbetween them now, with no chance of escape.

 

Komaeda mimicked Nanami and laid his head down onto Hinata's shoulder. He smiled at the thought that both of Hinata's shoulders were occupied.

 

„Did you do this just so you could go to sleep?“ Hinata accused Nanami. He didn't sound angry though, it was more like he was teasing her.

 

„Mmm, maybe,“ Nanami mumbled into his shoulder. Komaeda let out a short laugh.

 

_Is this really it? Can we spend the day like this? No more worrying, no more overthinking?_

 

Komaeda snuggled closer to Hinata. „I guess there's no harm in taking a nap,“ he smiled. The sand was pliant and warm beneath him, and the sun was making him sleepy as well. He might as well follow Nanami's example.

 

„Mmm, guess not,“ Hinata agreed. The sun seemed to have an effect on him as well. Everything here was so quiet and peaceful...

 

They all fell asleep, one right after the other.

 

* * *

 

When Komaeda came to, there was an empty space next to him.

 

_Again?_

 

He opened his eyes, blinking a few times to adjust to the sudden sunlight. He turned his head and – Hinata was gone.

 

He supported himself with his healthy arm and managed to sit up, noticing Nanami to be awake already.

 

„Where's Hinata-kun?“

 

„He already left,“ Nanami explained, „he called out for Naegi-kun to disconnect him. He said he'll leave us alone and that we should talk.“

 

„Talk?“ Komaeda stared at her for a second, before letting out a raspy laugh. „Ahaha... I guess we should talk, shouldn't we...“

 

Nanami gave him a reassuring smile. „It's fine. We are both adults now, right? We can have a reasonable conversation.“

 

„I... ah...“ Komaeda bit his lip, running his hand through his frizzy hair, resisting the urge to pull at it. „I'm sorry, Nanami-san...“

 

„What are you sorry for? You don't need to keep apologizing to me, you know.“

 

„I... I know...“

 

„You don't need to feel guilty. I understand.“

 

„Do you?“ Komaeda gritted his teeth. „Then you get that you being so kind and understanding is part of the problem?“

 

Nanami tilted her head. „What problem?“

 

 _She's so delightfully innocent,_ Komaeda realized. It wasn't really a flaw, but it was alarming nonetheless. She was still learning about the world – about feelings – every time someone spoke to her, she would add it to her data. She was learning that way. She was growing up that way.

 

„Truth be told, I'm jealous of you,“ he admitted, deciding to be straightforward. „Hinata-kun really loved you, and I... I can't possibly compare...“

 

„Why not?“

 

„W-well, I... I'm a boy, for starters,“ Komaeda mumbled, his voice getting quieter by the second, „Hinata-kun prefers girls... and I'm such a trainwreck, while you're... well, you're perfect,“ he choked out, blinking away the tears that were threatening to spill. He hated himself for having this reaction.

 

He hated himself for a lot of things.

 

„I'm not perfect,“ Nanami argued, „and Hinata-kun loves you.“

 

„He loves both of us.“

 

„No matter what you say, I'm still not real. You're real. You can see him every day, touch him, talk to him. I don't have that opportunity.“

 

„Is that jealousy I hear in your voice?“ Komaeda couldn't help but smirk a bit. It felt good to have the upper hand, if only for a brief second.

 

Nanami stared at the ground. It was as if she was suddenly interested in every individual grain of sand. „Of course not.“

 

Komaeda's smirk faded. „Because you don't need to be. He clearly loves you more.“

 

„Komaeda-kun... I'm sorry, but can you stop acting like a child?“

 

Komaeda sighed. „You're right. Just like always.“

 

„Hinata-kun said he loves us both. We should put away our feelings for a bit and just trust in him... I think.“

 

Nanami was as reasonable as always. She had a way of telling when people were overreacting – and the way she set him straight sent shivers down Komaeda's spine. _Have I been unreasonable the whole time?_

 

He took a deep breath. „We'll come visit you again. As many times as you want. As many times as _we_ want.“

 

Nanami smiled. „That makes me happy... although I don't think you'll need to. You guys can talk to me on your phone or your computer. And... maybe one day, the Future Foundation will make a hologram...“

 

„A hologram?“ Komaeda perked up, his eyes lighting up. „That would be amazing! Did they talk to you about that already?“

 

„They mentioned it.“

 

„As expected of them! Of course they would have the knowledge and technology to create a hologram of you!“

 

„Komaeda-kun, you're drooling,“ Nanami pointed out. She raised her finger to her lips and made a wiping motion. Komaeda followed her instructions, wiping his saliva with the sleeve of his jacket. „You're still the same, huh?“

 

„I'd like to think I've matured a little,“ Komaeda protested. Him and Hinata went a long way, and all of their struggles changed them – it was impossible to stay static. They were all different people now.

 

„I see... then, as long as you understand...“

 

„I understand.“

 

„Then, I'll see you soon... I think.“

 

„Huh?“ Komaeda was confused for a second, wondering if Nanami wanted him gone that badly. Then he realized she needed time to gather her thoughts. „Oh, I get it. Naegi-kun... I'm ready to go back.“

 

Then he faded away, just like that.

 

* * *

 

He forcefully pushed the lid of his pod open, gasping for air. He needed to see Hinata, he needed to see that he was okay, that he wasn't angry with him and that he would still stay with him, that he wouldn't leave him alone here -

 

He felt a tight grip on his wrist pulling him upwards.

 

„Hinata-kun...“

 

„It's alright, Komaeda. It's fine now.“

 

„Hinata-kun...,“ he repeated, his voice shaking. He felt like breaking down for at least the tenth time today. He was a mess – so fucked up, so broken -

 

It made sense. No matter how hard you try to fix broken pieces, no matter how much you try to sew them back together, you will always see the stitches, the broken parts, the damage, and it will never, ever be the same.

 

When exactly did things go so wrong? _Can I pinpoint the exact moment? Was it the plane accident? The kidnapping? Hope's Peak? My birth? Can I try again?_

 

_Can I try again?_

 

_Can I try again?_

 

_Can I try again?_

 

„Hinata-kun!“ He latched onto him, and before he knew it, he was sobbing into Hinata's shirt, covering the white fabric with his tears and snot, _disgusting as always_.

 

Hinata was mumbling something, but he couldn't hear him. He could only hear his own loud wails and he was thinking of how ugly he must look, red blotches appearing all over his face. This is why he didn't want to cry, ever, ever -

 

„Komaeda-kun!“ He could hear Naegi's voice as if from a distance. „I never knew the program would take such a toll on you! Please, calm down... it will be alright...“

 

It just made him cry ever harder. Naegi – the Ultimate Hope – was consoling a worthless bug like him, wasting his energy on him, just like that – he didn't deserve this, he didn't deserve this, he didn't deserve this...

 

He didn't deserve Hinata's and Naegi's attention. He didn't deserve any of it. He was a broken individual that didn't deserve love or attention or -

 

“Let's go home, okay?”

 

* * *

 

The kettle was making a high pitched noise, signaling that his tea was ready. He watched Hinata pour the hot water into the ceramic cup, filtering the leaves. He felt really stupid all of a sudden, making Hinata take care of him like this. He should be the one making tea for them, after all.

 

Still, it was calming. The sun was shining through the windows, pleasantly warm, making him sleepy once again – but it was made sense to feel tired after crying his eyes out, as much as he'd like to forget about the scene he caused. _In front of Naegi no less..._

 

_I'll have to apologize to him later. Personally._

 

Hinata placed a cup of tea in front of him. It smelt like chamomile – and it took him way back into his childhood, when mom used to make him chamomile tea whenever he was sick, and he felt like crying again, but instead he took a sip of his hot tea and found solace in the way it burned his tongue.

 

He felt Hinata grabbing his hand, slowly sipping his tea as well. His thumb drew circles on his palm in a calming manner, and Komaeda could feel himself relaxing at last. This scene was familiar and peaceful, and their surrounding was warm and loving.

 

“I'm sorry... for breaking down like that,” he finally managed to speak, “I guess it just happens once in while. It... doesn't mean that I'll go back to the way I was.”

 

“I know. You don't have to explain.” Hinata's grip on his hand increased, as if he wanted to show understanding that way. “I get like that too, you know.”

 

“I know, but you... you...,”

 

“Shhh. You don't have to think so hard.”

 

“Now you sound like Nanami-san.”

 

Hinata smiled, droplets of tea visible on his lips. “Have you two talked it out?”

 

“I think so... did she tell you about the hologram?”

 

“Yeah, and I asked Naegi about it right away. They're actively working on it.”

 

“To think she could be here with us right now... ah, I'm...”

 

Hinata shook his head. “It will take some time, apparently,” he explained, “I don't know. Naegi was being really vague.”

 

“Well, it makes sense. It's probably top secret information.”

 

“Of course you'd say that, you always defend him.”

 

“Now who's being jealous?”

 

They both burst out laughing. The heavy atmosphere was suddenly lifted, replaced with the same easy going air that they were both used to for the past few months. The sun was slowly setting and the tea was pleasantly warm now, and everything seemed okay.

 

* * *

 

They visited Nanami many times after that. They often took a day off just so they could relax on the beach with her, eating popsicles and splashing in the sea, free from all of their worries. Even when they knew it was all just a simulation, the eternal paradise around them felt completely real. It _was_ a therapy program, after all, and it worked – it was like a balm on their troubled mind.

 

But today was different.

 

Komaeda glanced at the TV screen placed at the end of their dining table. He tried his best focusing on making lunch for him and Hinata, carefully watching the pots, wanting to impress both Hinata and Nanami – even though he knew it was silly. Especially Nanami – she won't care.

 

He heard Hinata coming down, his loud footsteps echoing thorough the hall – and then his saw his spiky head peeking out of the doorway, shooting him the brightest, dumbest smile.

 

“I'm almost done!” Komaeda announced, “you can turn on the TV, if you like.”

 

Hinata smiled even wider and walked towards him, hugging him from behind and wrapping his strong arms around his waist.

 

Komaeda dropped the spoon he was holding.

 

“H-hinata-kun...”

 

He could feel Hinata placing small kisses all over his neck, deliberately teasing him and trying to rile him up. He could also feel him burying his hands into the apron he was wearing, and it made him feel all dizzy – he wanted to turn around and kiss Hinata senseless, but he knew it was a bad idea. He would completely forget about the stove and -

 

No, no. Definitely a bad idea.

 

“Nnn, Hinata-kun... go and turn on the TV while I finish the lunch, okay?”

 

“Huh, usually you'd be all over me by now. Am I losing my charm?”

 

“I'm just more resistant,” Komaeda smiled, slightly proud of himself in that way. It didn't take much to make him melt. “Now go, make all the preparations.”

 

“Mmm, okay,” Hinata placed one last kiss behind his ear, and Komaeda had to bite his lip in order to prevent a moan. _No, no, this is a bad time...!_

 

He could hear the faint buzzing of the TV, and then she was on the screen – in high definition, as if she was truly with them right here – looking at them both, giving them a gentle smile, her eyes full of life.

 

It was nothing like before – Nanami was _here_ now, here with them, in their home, watching the two of them, able to talk to them. It was too good to be true, it was -

 

“Hinata-kun... Komaeda-kun...”

 

Komaeda could see her eyes glistening, and he turned towards the stove once again, blinking a few times to chase away his own tears.

 

All was as he dreamed it. All was as he imagined it.

 

He stirred the pot as he listened to Hinata and Nanami chatting together, their voices mixing together and creating a wonderful, loving melody – a melody that he could listen to at all times, a melody that filled him with love, a melody that gave him comfort.

 

He was ready to face his new life with the two people he loved the most.

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you like my work, please come talk to me on [my blog!](https://ssoxos.tumblr.com/). Please. Please oh god I'm so lonely


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